As a small business owner, I don’t get any fancy deals from Mastercard, Visa, AmEx, Discover, or PayPal regarding the commissions I must pay them when a customer purchases my book with their card/service.  Credit cards and PayPal enable my business and I’m not complaining about the commissions.  What did surprise me the other day is how variable the commissions are.  I realized those us who have a choice in which card to use likely have no idea of the impact of that choice on the vendor they’re supporting - especially the small, local businesses.  Here are the commission percentages I was recently charged from my book sales:

·         If the customer used a Visa Business and Visa Debit card: 2.39% of the total purchase (including shipping)

·         Mastercard Business and World Club card: 4.38%

·         Mastercard Debit card: 2.39%

·         PayPal: 2.9% +$.30

On top commission there are other fees businesses pay to these companies such as a program service fee and international business fees.  Then there are the fees paid monthly (mine is $25) and annual (mine is $60) fee to the service companies that connect them to the credit card companies – they can’t work the credit card companies directly.

It was a surprising analysis when I took the time to do it.  I always use my credit card, but never gave much thought to which one or why.  I know many of us are trying hard to support local and small businesses and momprenuers.  Are these rates surprising to you as well?

Some of you may have read by now the article on the Motherhood Penalty on Business Week’s working parent’s blog.  The article is about a research study that found working mothers were 100% less likely to get a job interview than women who did not present themselves as mothers on a resume.  While the statistic is quite shocking, what’s really interesting are the sentiments expressed in the comments following the article.

Really, are the mommy wars still going strong?  I am now in an enviroment full of momprenuers, so I rarely run across the non-mom these days.  However, my life at a Fortune 50 company is not that far behind me, and I must admit, I never felt the mommy wars there, either.  So the venom, and defensiveness, of some of the post really surprised me.

I found that once I was a parent, managing an employee became a piece of cake.  Convincing a toddler to eat veggies or go to bed is just as challenging as motivating an employee or managing a crisis at work, and the two worlds - work and home - end up supporting each other very well.  I also know that the year I had my first child was the year I received my highest performance rating at work and I continued to receive high ratings and big bonuses from then on - more than when I wasn’t a mom.

I also know that EVERYONE at my old company was working online after 9:00 PM, kiddos or not.  There just wasn’t time for backstabbing and gossiping or the overall waste of energy that it takes to complain about a co-working leaving to take care of a sick kid.  I attribute this to my former manager who created a very supportive culture.  Frankly, one would look like a real jerk if he or she started griping about someone not pulling their weight.  If you have a problem with someone in your office: First, look at yourself in the mirror - what bothers you about someone else is something that bothers you about yourself.  Second - talk to them directly about it instead of feeding the rumor mill. 

It’s that easy!  I left my last employer to write a series of children’s books dedicated to explaining the world of work to kids (www.mommytrip.com). The intent is to help not only children understand what mom and dad do every day and why they can’t always be around, but also help the parents really ROCK their lives. If mom and dad can build a rich life at home and at the office, then our children are raised in happy homes and the world becomes a better place for everyone. It’s that simple.

I would love to hear if you think the mommy wars are alive and well in your world or not, and if they are, what are you doing to put a stop to them?

I got a big wakeup call today when I read Renee Trudeau’s post on creating an intentional summer on her blog, The Journey.  She asks a simple question - what do you want your summer to be like? 

That’s when it hit me.  The summer?  Is it summer already?  Good grief!  I am a business owner, master of my own destiny and manager of my own calendar… right?  So what’s with all these hectic days and crammed schedules?  Do I even have time to figure out what I want?

Luckily, for me, my kids, and my hubby, Renee’s post really hit me.  I CAN decided what I want and create a summer of intent.  I will be working on my list of things I want from this summer - not a to-do list, mind you, but what I want to create - this evening.  It’s going to be filled with SLOW times with my kids, reconnecting with friends, and enjoying this wonderful place where I live.  It will also consciously plan out what I need to do these next couple of months to make the rest of the year truly successful for my book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip, and it’s soon-to-be-released partner, My Daddy’s on a Business Trip.  What can I do in the next week to kick-start this summer of intention?  I’ll let you know.  What about you?  How are you going to design your summer?

With all the bad news about, it’s easy to get down about the state of the world today.  Don’t!  This is THE time to look for silver linings, and ripe opportunities.  My husband lost his job last Thursday.  Though he was our family’s source of income until my book (www.mommytrip.com) takes off, we are totally OK with situation.  Why?  Getting laid off was the kick in the butt he needed to figure out what he really wants to do with his life.  He’s not alone, either.  More and more people I know are stepping back, reflecting, and asking themselves “what in the world am I doing with the rest of my life?”  What things, titles, and lifestyle do they really WANT or NEED?  I know that it’s a scary time for all of us, and facing foreclosure on your family home, or going without health insurance, is no joke.  I also absolutely believe that we will rise from these ashes stronger, more aware, more grateful for our loved ones, and more appreciative of a picnic in the park on a warm, sunny day.

As a new author and working mom, I was so thrilled to get the call from my best friend from high school, who lives in Chicago, that she saw a write-up on me and the book in the Sunday edition of the Chicago Tribune!  I just wanted to share some success as we continue to get innundated by bad news on the economy, etc. Times are tough, but I would like to encourage everyone here to share their successes as well.  We can all learn from what’s working for one another and lend each other support!

Here’s a link to the Tribune article: www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/chi-0308-wire-mom-business-trip-mar08,0,6514744.story

Have a great day,
Phaedra

I had a conversation today with a girlfriend who is one of the most conscientious moms I know.  We were talking about one of her kids who is showing some signs of a slight developmental delay - nothing serious and nothing that can’t easily be addressed.  While this woman is a proud corporate warrior as well as a proud mom, she asked me a question that strikes at the heart of every working mother I know.  She asked me if I knew of any research that correlated developmental delays with the type of care children receive - from a stay-at-home-mommy, nanny, or daycare center.  It was a chilling question, ripe with guilt.  What I told her was that when my kids have had to have therapy for minor delays, the other moms waiting in the lobby with me were stay-at-home-moms, so I didn’t think it made one ounce of difference.

Why do working mothers do this to themselves?  I am guilty of it as well.  Guilt over work, guilt over not spending enough time with my kids, guilt from wanting some alone time every once in awhile.  Meanwhile, my kids are happy, healthy, well adjusted kids who are thriving in their daycare centers!

What do you feel most guilty about?  Do you think it’s a bit self-inflicted or really worthy of some genuine angst?

Our Mom Story of the Week is from Christie Arseneau, recent winner of our Road Warrior contest and a copy of our new book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip.  Here’s an update on Christie’s latest adventure:

From Christie:

So, here is the conclusion of my trip to Michigan last week. I was in Muskegon, thinking that I could catch the earlier flight but ended up staying as the work with the client went just a little too long to catch that flight.  That was OK, I figured I still had a seat on my normal flight.  When all was done, and I was at my “bingo-fuel” time (pilot speak – the point at which a pilot either has to continue on to their destination or turn around and go back to where the nearest airport – either you “go” on or you “no go” and turn around to go back) and I had to go.  Read the rest of this entry »

I got a great response to my last post asking for road warrior stories and tips for staying connected with young kids while on the road.  I’ve compiled some of the most interesting responses below.  I hope you’ll be as inspired as I was at the lengths parents go to stay in touch with their kids, and the positive attitudes all of them have about the whole situation.  Why be blue when there is work to do?  Just get it done and get home!  One of the most endearing stories comes from Christie Arseneau, who tells me she has more to share!  I knew when I read her post that she should receive the free copy of my children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip.   Congrats, Christie, and keep up the good fight!  Lea Nesbit’s story is fantastic as well.

All of the posts were great and I thank all of you who took the time to share your stories.  What do you think is the best tip from what’s posted below?

Warrior Responses (some are lengthy, but worth reading.  You’ll find great tips and if nothing else, know that you’re not alone in dealing with this issue.  I’ve bolded the tips so they’re easier for you to find.)

From Josh Teweles:

My wife and I both work and occassionally take trips for our respective jobs.

1.   When either of us leaves, we make a calendar and put it on the fridge so the girls can cross off the days. We also include other fun events on the calendar so it’s not just about one person being gone.

2.   For the person who remains, the girls get to be your “sleep partner” and crash in our King bed.

3.   For the person who leaves, always call in during dinner time.

4.    The person who leaves also makes notes with cute pictures and messages like “Be nice to Mommy” and “Have a good sleep” and “I miss you so much.”

From Lea Nesbit:

A few minutes later my cell phone rang. It was my estranged spouse calling to berate me for leaving our son in the middle of an emotional meltdown. He screamed at me for caring more about my work than my family all of these years and told me that I was directly to blame for my son’s emotional crisis. I listened to his rant for longer than I should have; I finally hung up when it occurred to me that he wasn’t eight years old and I was not responsible for his emotional well-being.

I have never felt as bad about being a working mother as I did that day. I sobbed all the way to the airport. I can’t imagine what the driver thought; probably made a good story for the guys in the garage that night.

It was a long trip to Frankfurt.

I called the next morning from Germany to check and see how my mother was holding up. She told me that Will was fine; after I left they made some hot chocolate and walked over the park across the street where Will met up with some school friends.

We have never had a repeat; when I got home it was if nothing had happened. All I can tell working, traveling moms and dads is to do your best. There will always be conflicts but you can manage through them. Don’t forget what is most important, a loving, nurturing, safe environment for your children.

I’m not the mom who will be a room mother, bake the best desert for the Cub Scout party or volunteer to drive for a field trip. But I am showing my son what it means to be capable, competent and self sufficient. He proudly comes to my office and every now and then I hear him tell his friends that his mom started her own company and is a CEO. He likes it when I bring him back a really unusual toy or gift from Brazil or Germany and great chocolates from Switzerland.

Some tips for making your child feel included in your business/travel life: talk to them about what you do, let them meet the people you work with, bring them to the office, call at a set time in the morning and at night when you are traveling, if visiting a foreign county teach them a few words of the local language, like “hello”, “good morning” and “good night”, talk to them about mundane things like what you ate that day and what the weather is like where you are, etc. I take pictures on my cell phone and send them to my son so he can see what I am looking at in that moment.

These small things add up over time and children appreciate the consistency.

From Andy Freeman:

Unfortunately, the best method I found was to treat the every other week ‘business trip’ as normal or commonplace. Minimizing the statements “i’m sorry i’m going away” or “i’ll miss you so much” can help make this more of a normal routine. But after 8 years of doing it, I finally said enough is enough. I stopped. Made a lifestyle change and helped my wife start a business that involved our family. It’s a fun, easy to use website for local communities to find family fun activities and events. Called FindandGoSeek.net , now we can spend more time with our kids doing fun things together.

  Read the rest of this entry »

I love being a woman for many reasons, but one of the highest on the list is because of the way women are so open to sharing information.  I rarely come across a woman, in business or my personal life, that holds her cards close to her chest to maintain a competitive advantage.  On the contrary, I find the women who give their knowledge, contacts, and recommendations freely are typically the most successful women I know.

Today, I’d like to start hearing from our Road Warrior sisters and the challenges they’ve faced in trying to balance a career that requires travel with kids at home.   What was one of your most heartbreaking moments?  How did you get through it?  Is there something you now do, either before you leave or while you’re away, to keep connected with the family?

On December 19th, I will select one of the most dramatic stories posted here and give the woman who wrote it a free copy of my children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip (you can read more about the book at www.mommytrip.com).  I will also compile the tips and post them to my website, www.dolcevitawoman.com.  You don’t have to be an official Road Warrior to submit a story.  Often, it’s the kids whose parents don’t travel much that are most effected by the occasional trip or two.