Archive for mommy guilt
I read an interesting article, and slew of comments today, on workitmom.com (great site, BTW) regarding Dr. Laura’s new book, In Praise of Stay at Home Moms. At first, I felt all riled up. Another attack on Working Moms!! Can’t people leave these wonderful women in peace?!?!?! Then I viewed the Today Show interview where Dr. Laura talks about the book and read her book excerpt. Did that change my mind? No. But I did start to noticed how tired I felt. How it was hard to keep my attention from wandering. That’s when I realized that generating a huge outrage against Dr. Laura does nothing more than sell more copies of her book (and frankly, I’d rather just sell more copies of mine!). Further, if there was any piece of advice working moms could take away from Dr. Laura’s book – I haven’t read it, so I don’t know – they won’t. They won’t even buy the book, just like I don’t plan to buy it.
My biggest rule of thumb is that it’s senseless to talk if no one is listening. So shhhhh…… let’s just enjoy the silence for a moment, and then go back to our busy days wherever they are – at home or at the office.
I had a conversation today with a girlfriend who is one of the most conscientious moms I know. We were talking about one of her kids who is showing some signs of a slight developmental delay – nothing serious and nothing that can’t easily be addressed. While this woman is a proud corporate warrior as well as a proud mom, she asked me a question that strikes at the heart of every working mother I know. She asked me if I knew of any research that correlated developmental delays with the type of care children receive – from a stay-at-home-mommy, nanny, or daycare center. It was a chilling question, ripe with guilt. What I told her was that when my kids have had to have therapy for minor delays, the other moms waiting in the lobby with me were stay-at-home-moms, so I didn’t think it made one ounce of difference.
Why do working mothers do this to themselves? I am guilty of it as well. Guilt over work, guilt over not spending enough time with my kids, guilt from wanting some alone time every once in awhile. Meanwhile, my kids are happy, healthy, well adjusted kids who are thriving in their daycare centers!
What do you feel most guilty about? Do you think it’s a bit self-inflicted or really worthy of some genuine angst?